Monday, November 27, 2006

Oh, is that so? Take THAT!!

The situation: I do thanksgiving with my boyfriend's wonderful family, and Christmas with my folks. My parents drove back to our hometown for thanksgiving, came back, nothing big was shakin'. Then I got a call Sunday (actually, a series of calls) saying that they were not going to drive back to the hometown for Christmas after all this year, and we should start our own tradition in town now. (My folks and I ended up living in the same town -not our home town- by accident. Long story)

Anyhoo, they didn't tell me at first why we weren't going back for X-mas, but I knew it was big. Then they let me in on it. You know why? Because it turns out we were voted out of Christmas.

Has survivor taken over the whole freakin' world?

What actually happened was this: for years we did a gift exchange. Everyone met at Grandma's, the siblings picked a name of one person to buy for, the grandkids all picked a name amongst themselves, so everyone got and gave one gift. Then we got the bright idea that instead of one $25 dollar gift, we could all buy everyone a $5 gift. Works the same: there are 5 grandkids and 5 siblings.

Then financial trouble hit, and some of the siblings complained that they couldn't afford to buy and didn't want to receive if they couldn't buy. So they leaned on grandma, and it was decreed that NO ONE could bring presents. To christmas. Ooookay. Fine then.

Fast forward to thanksgiving. The moment my parents leave for the 4 hr drive home, the rest of the entire family decided that it wouldn't be fun to do no presents, so they'd just have the grandkids exchange. Except for me. They decided to leave me out. I admit, I am the oldest, but only by 2 years. They came up with rules that excluded me but left in the next youngest cousin (if you were still in college the age limit "didn't apply")

My mom, and thus me, have always been the black sheep of the family. When grandma bought presents "for all the grandkids" she always "forgot" mine. Even though I was the only one who lived in the same town.

Now, this isn't about gifts...it's the principle. Isn't it slightly screwed up when there are 5 kids to decide to exclude ONE of them from the gift giving? And do it when she isn't there, and after waiting for her parents to leave before voting? How many families out there exclude anyone of any age from the holiday?

I'm ...mad. Let's leave it at that.

So I'm not going. But the "Take THAT!" part of this post is that I'm dealing with my frustration at this by putting all of my energy behind doing RAOK for the folks at Crochetville. I went through all the wish lists and am going to meet as many as I can. If my family doesn't want me and my crafty giftness, I'll spend that energy on strangers that can appreciate it. I don't really celebrate Christmas, but I like the spirit of it, and that's how I'm going to keep that spirit alive.

The silver lining? It prompted from my bf the funniest yet sweetest condolences ever. Such as "I'm sorry my family is jewish, because otherwise we'd love to have you to ourselves and have the best Christmas you've ever had." And my all-time favorite "hey, my folks love you. They told me that if we split up, they'd have to think long and hard about which of us they were going to keep."

6 comments:

Becky said...

I'm so sorry! I know where your're comming from....even at 42 it still bothers me that my grandmother played favorites (guess who was odd girl out...sigh) Anyway, spread the cheer, enjoy the giving and forget about the rest of them!!!

LadyintheMoon said...

I'm sorry. They obviously don't deserve you! Enjoy the holidays with the people who mean the most to you. I'm happy you're part of Crochetville. :)

Lisa said...

Oh my Gosh....that's horrible. It's one thing to decide something with everyone involved, but when you're gone??? Not nice, not nice at all.
I hope you find a way to have a wonderful Christmas without them. After all, it's their loss, not yours!!
Keep your chin up!

Anonymous said...

I thought I was the only one with a family like that.My Grandmother has outed me on the fact I deal withissues differently and my siblig think more of the married family. I am the only single mother of all them that we will not buy for anyone . aside of they will trade gifts

~Sher~ said...

Man that royally stinks! If it were me, I'd make a special gift for Grandma anyway, plop it in the old mail box and include a short and sweet card that stated something like "Christmas is a wonderful time of year. It is a time for family, sharing, and giving. May the Christmas spirit be with you year round."

Keep your chin up and have a great holiday season.

angelfire said...

I can understand your feelings. Every year my new husband of five years and his children drew names...which was great. this year we were told today that they had already drwn names at their "mom's" and didn't want to draw for when se celebrate at our home...that means that my DH won't even get a present from his kids. That is not the best...my DH says we need to buy for all of them now...makes me sad because he has been a great father and when he and his ex split up she left the kids with him so she could be with her b/f.