Monday, November 20, 2006

Habits are hard to break

So, today I dropped off five scarves and three hats that I had crocheted in a charity collection box at work. For the past week I have been going through my yarn stash and trying to figure out how to turn every last scrap into something someone could use. I've been piling up odds and ends of gifts bought but never given, intent on shipping them to folks on Crochetville as random acts of kindness. I've spent hours after work baking and freezing bread and cookies to be given out later. And why?

I think because we're getting into full Holiday season. The reason I'm blathering on about it is not because I'm proud of myself, but because I'm confused. Because I don't do Christmas. Used to, not anymore. Haven't celebrated it for years. So why when November is winding down do I get this super strong urge to give gifts? Not that I'm against charity, or giving- I'm just in favor of them as a year round thing, not as part of a religious holiday.

So if I don't believe in Christmas, and don't celebrate it, why am I suddenly seized by an impulse to pile up gifts and ship them out?

I'll still send stuff out and donate because people seem to need pick-me-ups more this time of year. And warm goodies are needed more as it gets colder. But still, it's an odd habit I to not have quite broken yet. Christmas must-do-everything guilt still lives on.

No comments: